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Which is how I ended up alone on my couch on a Friday night. As the credits start to roll on the movie that I had been watching, I sighed. It was after two in the morning, but I was wide awake. I started questioning why I hadnt just decided to grow-up and go to that beginning-of-the-year party. Then I saw that that train of thought wasnt headed anywhere good, and I thought to myself, Tiffany, you are putting too much pressure on yourself! You have all the time in the world to get rid of your V-card. You need to relax. And you know the best way to do that? Wink wink. I smiled to myself. Indeed, I did know the best way to relax. I went into my bedroom and retrieved from their separate hiding places my favorite vibrator and my pot. You dont stay a virgin into your twenties and not throwing yourself at the first guy you see at a bar without a little reinforcement. I made my way back to my living room after grabbing a towel from the hall closet, and popped one of my favorite bdsm videos. ‘I’ll bet he can smell my panties, they’re soaked,’ Penny said as she closed the door. ‘God, does Doctor Tizzle ever get tired of bilking Medicare?’ the receptionist said as Warren shuffled over to her desk to make an appointment for one month’s time. ‘There’s no way this poor little bastard will ever be able to see.’ ‘Excuse me?’ Warren squeaked in surprise. He’d suspected as much but to hear someone say it out loud was a little disheartening. ‘What?’ Yolanda asked. ‘I could have sworn I just heard you say…’ Warren stammered. ‘Here you go, see you on the twelfth, sweetie,’ Yolanda said with false cheerfulness and handed him the appointment card. Warren tapped listlessly down to the bus stop and waited. ‘Poor little mother fucker,’ the young African American said as Warren sat down on the bench and waited. ‘Did you say something?’ Warren asked. ‘Nah, man, I ain’t said shit,’ the other man said. ‘I wish the fuck he’d go away, shit makes me nervous being around freaks like that,’.
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